Right, next; take your preferred transport to the local SYM dealer. Actually, I must advise some clothes if you’re on a scooter as naked riding is just plain unsafe. Okay now once you’ve arrived simply walk into the dealer and say the following words. ‘Hello sir/maam, do you have a SYM Citycom 300i?’ If they answer yes, say these words. ‘Give it to me’. Hopefully the salesperson will now procure you the scooter and you will live happily ever after. If in the unlikely event the salesperson misinterprets the meaning of ‘give it to me’, considering you may be naked and untoward events take place I will disavow all knowledge of this advice. This article will self destruct in ten seconds.

So the SYM Citycom is a good scooter then? Absolutely 100%, YES. Unlike some bikes this scooter didn’t need to grow on me. I knew it was special within seconds of riding it. This is not an exaggeration; I rode it out of the distributors driveway made a left turn and went ‘hmmm, this is good…really good’ a few minutes later and I was sold. SYM had nailed it in my book. Next I decided I’d better get a second opinion in case I was losing my mind. I gave the bike to Del Fuego and he came back with exactly the same impression. Gold.

Here’s the rundown. The SYM is a big scooter and no lightweight weighing in at 184kgs, but SYM have worked a miracle of sorts because the bike doesn’t feel anywhere near that heavy…except when lifting it. (I like to carry my scooters from time to time for a good workout, it’s only fair, they schlep our lazy asses around all day, in fact I’m thinking of launching a movement…Scooter Schlep…it could be massive. Or inversely it could be a bad idea. We’ll run a poll.) On the road the Citycom is superb, it smoothes out road imperfections effortlessly due to its large 16inch wheels and well set-up suspension. The engine makes a healthy 20hp and 23.5Nm of torque; this propels the bike along at a surprisingly rapid pace considering its weight.