The sun is shining, the weather is clear, I am drinking a latte at my favourite caffeine establishment gazing at my latest steed… an Australian scooter that goes by the name Milan. It is shiny, and incredibly… well… cute not to put too fine a point on it. The obvious inspiration for this bike is Italian. The target market has to be females. As I gazed mindlessly at this pretty filly my cellular phone rang… which was surprising in itself as I had failed to pay the bill that month. It was an emergency…

I had to travel 6.88 kilometres in 7 and a half minutes through serious suburban traffic… it was 3.05pm. My foe would be Soccer moms, in urban tractors picking the kids up from school… and time, but I calculated that SUV’s would be my biggest threat, no problem I have scooter power, I can duck, I can dodge, I can fly like a butterfly and sting like… well you get the idea…then I looked across the street… to the Milan. Time was going to be a bigger problem than I had thought… this little machine wasn’t designed with speed in mind… but there was no other option. I had to make it… or the world would end!

So I ran for the Milan, depression setting in. There just wasn’t enough time, everyone I loved, and more than a few I found mildly distasteful… were going to perish. I leapt onto the Milan and fired up the two stroke… It sounded good, almost powerful, an illusion I thought to myself, marketing designed simply to fool men. Then I was off, I ducked, I dodged, I flew… around, over and through the back seatss of "Sport" Utility vehicles, sideways around small children in Blazers, ties and decidedly foolish caps. It was unbelievable, the Milan was a weapon, it had “scooter power”! I reached my destination just in the nick of time… I had saved the planet from a fate worse than death… well the same as death really I guess… Thanks to the Milan... And scooter power... and pizza.